Yes, after playing with names for my ‘Cinquain-like but not always the exact same sort of cinquain verses, except for the necessary five lines’, a titular form has been stumbled upon that satisfies my requirements for
a: corniness
2; pedantic accuracy
and, thirdly/. an inward smirk at thoughts of the eyes of readers rolling skywards and, then set upon a path of morbid curiosity, reading further to see what more pain could possibly be mined from the sad and deluded author’s following words and, perhaps, not being surprised by the fact that he has already deliberately and knowingly messed with the accepted formatting of a list in his opening paragraph. D –

So, Topical Five Line No-Rhyme Time it is. Except if they’re not topical, in which case they’ll just be Five Line No-Rhyme Time.
But not Tanka, which are also effectively five line no-rhyme time, not actually Topical Five Line No-Rhyme Time but even more disciplined with the syllables and everything, so will be called ‘Tanka’.
And I suppose a disclaimer is necessary. The Topical Five Line No-Rhyme Time ones are only topical when they are written and no guarantee that they will remain topical is given, but I won’t be going back and removing the word ‘Topical’ when they do actually become untopical.

I hope we’re all clear now.

Once again, I started by trying to stick to a ‘traditional’ cinquain 1,2,3,4,1 words format, but I’m writing this bit before I’ve come up with any verses at all, so we’ll have to see how that turns out.

first day
of weekend frolics
or just more endless

HMS Brexit
voyage continues
spaffing and piffling
mainly steam-driven, just like

of information
all about you
but don’t ask about

considered opinion?
self-harming nightmare
media-driven, racist, nationalistic

Oops, a bit of real non-jokey emotion sneaked in there.
Sorry about that.

Thank you for visiting Scribblans today. Sorry it probably wasn’t very good.
This bit of text here used to be me wittering on and effectively begging you to share the post, but I have decided not to bother with all that for 2021. Most people ignore it anyway.