Well, here we are then.
What a bastard.
Like a lot of people, I’ll take the numerically convenient transition point of it being the last day of 2020 to take stock of the year just gone, and look forward to the year to come.
Thankfully, you have all just lived 2020, so you have in fact just made it through all of the predictions I made last year and will be happy to know that, with almost spooky accuracy, I did get everything we’ve both suffered and celebrated during this year 100% correct, including the defeat of Trump and the pathetic fizzling end-stage of the Brexit trade negotiations.
Also, I did predict the end of the world, but that’s taking a bit longer and I’ll allow myself a ‘correct’ on that as it is obviously well on the way, although I had gone for a extinction level astronomical event and it being more sudden.
Still, happy to be only technically wrong on that so far.
Sadly, as this blog did not exist at this point last year, you won’t have read the predictions I made for 2020 and, equally sadly, I never wrote them down either, so you’ll just have to take my word for it, which is of course as good and true as the paper it wasn’t written on.
It’s time to take stock of where the blog is and how it’s doing now as well, so my in-depth analysis of the progress of the Scribblans blog follows. This is of course deeply insignificant to anyone else, but it seems a good point at which to shove a skewer in to see how well it’s done.
|Followers: 90||Of which are real people who have actually read a post: Unknown|
|Views: 2,653||Of which were real people who then buggered off scared: Unknown|
|Likes: 1,126||Of which were real people who genuinely liked the post: Unknown|
|Posts: 127||Of which were unplanned and spontaneous rubbish: 127|
|Words: 39,928||Of which were real words: Unknown|
|Days since creation: 227||Of which were spent eating biscuits, reading, writing, walking the dog and generally wishing the virus and the rabidly babbling and incompetent wing of the Conservative party would sod off now: 227|
As you can see, the blog is going well. My thanks to commenters who had obviously got to the comments box at the end of the post without leaving and brightened my day, by giving me a chance to be rude to other people apart from Mrs S for a change.
Predictions are a notoriously difficult thing to get 100% correct, although as we have learned–with a small allowance for a tiny virus instead of a huge asteroid–I did successfully do it last year.
Given that fact, that you will probably now be keen to read my predictions for 2021.
Unfortunately, just at this moment, I can’t seem to find the bit of paper I wrote them down on but, if memory serves, it only went up to March anyway, as the previously predicted and now late extinction level event comes quite early in the year.
Obviously this is a bit sad, if I am as correct as usual, but it does give you the opportunity to perhaps have an extra biscuit with every cup of tea in the New Year, given that any weight increase because of this naughtiness will be completely wiped out in a few months and your atoms will just be dispersed back in to the universe’s collection of them, albeit slightly mixed up from how they are now.
But, looking on the bright side, the heat death of the Universe won’t be for ages yet.
Anyway, do have a Happy New Year, and try not to think too far ahead as it will only worry you. Remember, live in the moment. Until March.
PS: If you are shocked at any lack of optimism in Britain and are a Twitter user, I’ll point you in the direction of this thread by Russ…
Thank you for visiting Scribblans today. Sorry it probably wasn’t very good.
This bit of text here used to be me wittering on and effectively begging you to share the post, but I have decided not to bother with all that for 2021. Most people ignore it anyway.